Blackbook

9PM

July 8, 2008

The journey continues…

 I set an objective at the beginning of the year and with the
help of several people, I was able to attain that objective in a memorable and
fun way. I would like to thank all of you who provided me generous support over
the past six months. (in alphabetical order by first name kaya walang tampuhan
ha!)

Allan, Au, Benny, Bernard, Cielo, Davi, Ffg, Itel, Jm, Judd,
Jules, Marvin, Ryan, Tanya, Tisha, Trinka, Vanessa, Von

 Thanks everyone! I really appreciate everything. I still owe some of you free lunch/ dinner
=)

===

I made several major decisions this year. The people I mentioned above helped me implement one of those decisions. It’s funny how
things turn out and fall into place . I have a couple more coming up in
a few weeks. Hopefully, I’ll make the right ones again. If not, well,
war is hell. There are other battles to come.

As Plato once said, "Only the dead have seen the end of war."

*Many thanks to Socs for saving me time in thinking of a creative and straighforward title for this blog. 

This is a very delayed blog entry. The events mentioned here happened in December  17, 2005. Yeah, and if you’re a smart ass, you’d say that they happened December 17-18. Fine!)

1.    Packed my war stuff from 12 midnight until 1:30AM. Yeah, it took that long because I had to pack extra clothes and equipment for 1 paintball game and 1 night game.
2.    Slept for 3 hours.
3.    Woke up, had breakfast, picked up Vistan, and waited for the others.
4.    Waged war in Gotcha Antipolo with SPL War Group until lunch time.
5.    Had lunch in Padi’s Point.
6.    Dropped off some new war friends in Ortigas and Quezon Ave.
7.    Drove back to FARview, took a shower, and was gone 20 minutes later to pick up my sister and my niece in FARview.
8.    Watched and took pictures at my niece’s school presentation.
9.    Bought some doughnuts for the Christmas Party in Greenhills.
10.  Laughed and stuffed myself silly with all the food at the party.
11.  Left the party at 1AM and proceeded to my night wargame where more than 100 other warfreaks have been waging war since 7PM.
12.  Went home at 7AM, cleaned up, and slept at 8AM.

Total Hours Awake: 27
Total Wars Fought:   2

I guess my jogging program proved useful this day. A little background might be helpful. I’ve been wanting to write about it anyway.

The Jog
I’ve been jogging five miles (8 kilometers) every other day for the past few months. I never thought I would actually be able to run that far again since my C.A.T. Officer Training days in high school. There was this month when our officers ran the hell out of us every single day in preparation for the 13 kilometer (we weren’t told how far it would be) run in the last week of our training.

On the day of THE RUN, my fellow trainees were practically dragging me on the last kilometer. I only had 2 hours of sleep! Some of us chose to sleep in school that night since our assembly time was 3AM. Big mistake! It slipped our minds that Pops Fernandez was going to have a concert in the covered courts beside our sleeping area! It was loud! And one of the trainees, Dylan, kept cracking jokes preventing us from getting any sleep long after Pops left!

Anyway, I hated jogging! One of the Honor Guards under me in high school asked, “You don’t like jogging do you? In our one year of training, you only made us jog once–to go to McDonald’s!”

Times have changed though. One of my tried and tested counter-boredom (also works for stress and depression) activities is doing something more boring. Jogging is definitely on the top of the list of boring things a person can do. Running around in circles in the middle of the night without really getting anywhere is a major bore!

The first time I completed 5 miles, I thought it was the end of me. I had told myself that I was going to reach my objective that night or die trying.  So I wasn’t going to stop because of thirst, bruises, or exhaustion. Halfway through, I was tripping and falling on imaginary obstacles on the concrete sidewalk. By the start of fourth mile, my skin dried up—probably a sign of dehydration?  By the last mile, I was seeing bright spots in front of me. I was thinking, “This is it. Those are angels just waiting for me.” But no, it wasn’t my time yet that night. I’ll be knocking on heaven’s door another time. 

I like jogging now. I prefer to jog at night when there’s less pollution and less people. It gets interesting too when I start after 11pm. At exactly 12 midnight, they turn off ALL the lights in the route I follow. From a nice and safe jogging place, the area turns into a spooky place full of weird shadows and eerie sounds. Really inspires me to hasten my pace.

Unfortunately, I had to stop last week. My knees apparently have a 5 mile limit. They start to hurt when I jog. I had to undergo physical therapy last year for my right knee and I had to stop jogging for several months too. So I decided to give myself a break for awhile before I started to jog again.

The break came just in time because I just learned of my schedule for Saturday. It was packed! I used my free time to rest my injured knee and tired muscles. I actually considered not going to the night wargame but I was intrigued to see if I can last fighting two wars with civilian duties in between. I thought what’s the sense of my jogging program if I can’t exploit and abuse its results? So I didn’t turn down anything scheduled for that day.

The Massacre
I play paintball every chance I get. I really like the game. As with any of the war games that I play, I enjoy the opportunity to fight and die many times over. This day,  that was what exactly happened!

The SPL War Group* is a fun-loving and very accommodating group. The first time I played with them at the start of 2005, I only knew one of them. Now I have a whole section in my Yahoo Messenger just for them. I have been able to join several of their activities. I even got several of them to eat barbequed bats in an overnight jungle survival training program in Subic! And I don’t work for their company! Hmmm…it’s either they are really nice or my face is just pretty thick!

This time, I joined another paintball game but with a different happy bunch of warmongers! I swear it probably says in SPL’s recruitment criteria that the employee must be excessively and contagiously happy! It’s always fun hanging out with them! (Thanks for all the fun and laughter, SPL friends!)

The game started out pretty well. I was grouped with Vistan, Jamih, Au, Nina, Feyn, and Ayen. The other side had 6 guys and 2 girls. They said they gave us 4 girls because Vistan and I were in uniform and had experience. No problem. From my experience, girls love to fight! So I thought we had a fighting chance. I also believe in girl power. Ever watched G.I. Jane?

Unfortunately, my glasses and mask fogged up at the very start of the game! I could NOT see a thing much less tell anyone where to go or which general direction to concentrate their fire at. I’d try to wipe my glasses to clear it up but when I put it back on, my mask would fog up too!

I was in big trouble. I didn’t really consider fogging because my mask or goggles did NOT fog up the first time I played paintball! It probably wasn’t that humid before.

To make a long story short (and to not confuse everyone with lots of war terminologies), a guy named Ken from the opposing side, single-handedly hunted us down and killed us one by one during the first game!

Losing isn’t so bad. Especially when you get to meet a skilled warrior who you can recruit for future operations. Kenneth practically massacred us during the first game! He was good. When the marshall declared that the defenders can already leave their base and attack us, Ken left his teammates to defend the flag while he maneuvered around the battlefield so he can flank our position. While he was stealthily doing this, our team was trying to assault the defenders so we can take their flag.

Vistan and I were yelling at each other. We split our team in two groups. My group was assigned to be the one to charge and grab the flag while Vistan’s larger group was going to provide suppression fire so the enemy will keep their heads down while we ran on open ground towards the objective. I told Vistan to get ready for “Blue”, our code for an attempt to rush and grab the flag. He thought I was telling him “to DO a Blue” and that he will be the one to rush the flag. He gave the signal and our team started firing. As I prepared to jump over the sandbags, I was shocked to see Vistan run from his hiding place towards the flag. Oh well, two heads are better than one. More targets for the enemy to shoot at. I jumped up and rushed towards the flag too. Vistan was able to grab the flag but not before an enemy paintball hit him. I was unscathed and only a few feet away from the flag but for some reason, the marshal stopped the game and made me go back. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

Back, in my foxhole, I had to clean my glasses and mask with my fingers several times. During one “clear vision” moment, I thought I saw someone from the opposing team running somewhere to our left. I shifted position and faced that direction. Protecting the left flank was my immediate concern for the time being. My mask and glasses fogged up again and before I could clean it, I received a splotch of paint on my mask. I was dead.

From the sidelines, I watched as Ken, slowly but surely, maneuvered himself and eliminated my teammates, one at a time. I was horrified! It is one thing to die yourself but to watch your teammates get slaughtered is another thing. One of them told me before the game started, “Just tell us what to do.”

I couldn’t tell them what to do because I couldn’t see anything! It was a disaster! If that was a real war, the angels would have court-martialed me when I got to heaven!

We also lost the second round as defenders. It just wasn’t my day!

I suddenly had an idea on the third game. I removed my glasses and just wore the mask. It was a four on four game. The other fighters were pretty worn out already and didn’t want to play.

I was able to maneuver behind the opposing team’s position and caught them facing the other way. I got two of them! Now why didn’t I think of removing my glasses at the start?! It was so ironic that I had to REMOVE my glasses to SEE! And we won!

War is hell! I want to play again!

*It is not really called  SPL War Group. It is a multinational  IT firm with its local office located in RCBC Towers in Makati. It is a leading provider of mission-critical software solutions for the global utility market. The real company name is SPL WorldGroup (SPLWG). The company is NOT related to any military, guerilla, or terrorist organization.

The Presentation
I love my niece’s school presentations! She’s five years old and watching her on stage is always a blast! In the middle of a major presentation, she’d start waving at us when she sees that we’re about to take her picture. We would also always see her whispering to one of the people beside her,

The first time I watched a presentation of hers, I had tears in my eyes. It was only then that I realized why my teachers in my early years made me do stupid things in front of other people during special occasions. My niece who used to do nothing but sleep and cry was actually performing! I was very proud as if I was actually her dad. Somehow I felt that I had contributed (she’d probably disagree) to her growth.

But this year, I didn’t have an emotional moment. There were a lot of funny moments during the presentation. The barbeque that one of the parents brought was also delicious. I grabbed a few and proceeded to a Christmas party.

The Party
It was the Christmas party of the Ateneo Rifle and Pistol Team.

This event was my favorite among all the parties I attended this holiday season. Our coach, who just suffered a minor stroke, was there and was his old cheerful and noisy self. I say his presence alone contributed to 50% of the fun and laughter of that party. Also, more of the older alumni attended because he was there.

The caroling group sang for everyone twice that night. I loved it! I had just come from war and was about to go to another one. It was perfect! I’m a Christmas guy and I love Christmas songs. Kenny really did an excellent job. Of course, the carolers did a great job too!

The food was great! There was so much! The high stack of pizza boxes was enough to keep me happy for the night. But there were other dishes there and I had to try them.  Really great!

There were quite a number of alumni there that I haven’t seen in a while. When our alumni get together, one of the usual things to do is reminisce about the old days when we were still varsity. In our case, reminiscing meant making fun of some people especially this guy who fell into the pool without anyone pushing him in! Haha, Sorry dude!

I had a hard time leaving. There were still quite a number of people left. But then, war is hell.

The Game
I arrived around 130AM in Parks and Wildlife. The guard wouldn’t let me in at first but finally allowed me in when I made a call in my cellphone and got confirmation that I could enter. Duh, I could have been talking to Donald Duck on the cell!

They were taking a break when I arrived. It took me around 15 minutes to find the location of our base. It was really dark. If I didn’t have a gun with me, it would have been scary. Funny how a toy gun and a military uniform can make you brave.

I spent most of the time crawling on the grass, getting shot at, and waiting. There were three groups—the Red Team, the Yellow Team, and the rebels. The objective of the Red and Yellow Teams was to get the other’s flag. I was part of the rebel group which also organized the event. Our job as rebels was to create chaos and confusion—to get in the way of the two warring teams.  Unfortunately, our base got surrounded by the two teams. This prevented me or any other rebel from going beyond several meters from our base. It was still great fun trying though. And it was very entertaining to hear people shoot their teammates since it was too dark to see anything. We weren’t needed to bring chaos.

Around 330AM, one of our rebel soldiers grabbed the Yellow Team’s flag and declared victory. Victory?! The Yellow guys were mad as hell! What were the rebels/organizers doing capturing their flag? I swear I had no idea why he did that! It wasn’t part of our mission!

Since it was still too early to go home, another game was started. This time, we were able to position ourselves favorably. Unfortunately,no one was attacking. There were only a few shots here and there but no real engagement. Everyone was waiting for first light.

But when first light came, all hell broke loose. In an incredible show of political maneuvering and diplomacy, I saw the Red and Yellow Teams, side by side, attacking us! The flag incident must have pissed both of them really bad for them to attack the organizers of the event.

War is hell!

Amen.

The Title
So what’s up with the titles here in this blog entry? It always takes me awhile to think of a suitable title for my blog entries. I’ve been reading John Grisham novels for the past few months. John Grisham really has it easy when it comes to giving titles—The Client, The Firm, The Brethren, The Partner etc. So I thought I’d try it out and see if I can get away with it and make my life easier, too.

I
hereby formally declare myself unfit for any form of jungle warfare.

 
*****

I
was diagnosed with a very rare eye disorder during my second year in college.
It is called Keratoconus or just KC. If I remember correctly, the word “kerato”
means cornea and “conus” means cone. Put them together and you are supposed to
get “coning of the cornea.” The
irregular coning causes light to be refracted BEFORE it even reaches the lens (the
more usual problem area for people) inside the eyes. Blurring occurs.

No,
I’m not going to die because of it unless I fall into a deep dark hole, never
to be found again. It also does not cause blindness. KC just causes varying
levels of blurred vision. Things can be very blurry or the effect can just be
minimal. For some people, it is not that bad. They might have it and not even
notice unless they have an eye check up.

How
did I know I had KC? Back in college, there was this time when I had to replace
my contacts every few months because my eyesight was getting worse. I got suspicious.
During one eye examination with those high tech eye scanning devices, the
optometrist leaned back in her chair with a very puzzled look on her face. She
called another optometrist who also looked at the monitor in confusion. They
called another one. All three of them just stared at the monitor, perplexed.
Then they looked at me as if I I had cancer or something.

“Sir,
have you been involved in a vehicle accident recently? Did you get hit in the
head?” one of them asked.

Their
high tech machine was displaying errors in the screen.

Five
eye specialists and six weeks later, I was diagnosed with Keratoconus. How did
the doctor tell me? After peering into my eyes, he turned around and called
several interns over. “Gather around,” he ordered them. “Each of you take a
look at his cornea. The condition is called Keratoconus and you will probably
never see anything like it in your lifetime.”

*****

Doctors
have not yet agreed on what causes KC or what aggravates it. So for now, it’s
just one of those unfortunate things with no explanations.

.

There
is no cure for KC. It cannot be stopped. It can get worse or it might not. Laser
cannot treat it. However, there are certain “solutions.” One is wearing customized
contact lens which I already have. They are very uncomfortable to wear and does
not give 20-20 vision. They cost P2000 each. I rarely wear them. Unfortunately,
in some advanced cases, specially made contacts can no longer improve the
vision of the KC patient. The other solution is corneal transplant. Doctors
always leave it up to the patient to decide if he wants to have a transplant.
If the patient does not want to cope with blurred vision and special contacts,
then he can opt for a transplant.

Corneal
transplants have a 95% chance of success. Based on the newsletters I get from
the US-based National Keratoconus Foundation (bless their souls for sending it
all the way here for free every month), the meaning of “success” varies between
doctor and patient. For the doctors, an operation is successful when the body
does not reject the new cornea. Unfortunately, the transplant still requires
intensive maintenance and care. Sometimes, vision improves very little and the
patient wonders why in the world he even had the transplant.

*****

Anyway,
that’s enough background.

A
few weeks ago, a friend invited me to go with him and his officemates for some
live fire shooting using 9mm and .45 caliber pistols. Yup, real guns. And just
about unlimited-shoot-until-you-drop-ammunition.

Since
there were a lot of beginners with us, we started off at 5 meters then 10 then
15, firing one shot at a time. We then practiced “double-tapping” which is
firing two shots in rapid succession. One of the instructors was watching
behind me. He patted me on the shoulder and said I was doing really great.

I’m
a pretty good shot with real firearms, long and short. I had good “teachers”
since I was 7 years old. Some of them were expert marksmen from the elite Scout
Rangers. Still, I was happy to hear I was doing well. It’s been quite awhile
since I’ve been in the firing range.

The
instructors set up a simple “course” for us. One by one, we were supposed to
wait on one side of the firing range and at the signal, we were supposed to run
as fast as we can (with a loaded pistol!) and gun down three of the targets
along the way. Just like the action stars in the movies!

I
thought I did pretty good. I was right on target. Unfortunately, speed was
given more weight in scoring. It was better to NOT hit the bull’s eye and
finish the earliest than to hit the bull’s eye and finish second. And that’s
what happened, I got second place but it wasn’t bad. No one told me that speed
was first priority. Next time I’ll do some tumbling!

We
still had so much ammo left. Someone had the idea of shooting a plastic water
container cap at 10 meters. The first guy fired. Missed. My turn. I took a deep
breath as I raised the pistol, and exhaled slowly. I fired. A hole appeared on
the cap. Right on target! I wanted to bow as people applauded.

I
just wonder how my shooting would have been without KC? I could have been a
sniper shooting targets a kilometer away! Too bad. Now, I just have to make do with lots and lots of PC games
where I can shoot without squinting and getting a headache. Recently, I’ve also
avoided playing my weekly airsoft wargames. I find it frustrating finding
myself in the middle of a firefight in the jungle and having to ask repeatedly,
“Where are the shots coming from?!” when everyone else around me seem to be
firing at something in the distance.

I
will just have to focus now on CQB (close quarter battle) which involves
climbing over walls, rushing into heavily defended structures, and “clearing”
the rooms inside of the enemy. This also means you sometimes get shot from a
range of less than 10 feet. Not really a fun experience especially when the gun
shooting at you spits out pellets at 500 feet/sec. Oh well, war is hell. All I have to do now is look for another
gamesite and people willing to be shot at close range.

I
wish I can have 20-20 vision again.

It was around this same time last year when I saw her.

It was exactly midnight and I just parted ways with Bernard and JM in Katipunan. I was still wide awake but no longer had anything else to do so I decided to just go home. There weren’t many cars in Katipunan as I drove towards Balara. I passed Ateneo then the church near CP Garcia. I was just taking my time, still wondering what I can do or who I can bother.

The road going to Balara at night is pretty dark. There were only a few cars. Sometimes, there’s a police patrol stationed there. Most of the time it’s deserted. But tonight, someone else was there. 

I was only several meters away when I saw something that was out of place in that dark, quiet night.  There was a person standing in the bus stop in front of UP Integrated School. As I got closer, I saw that it was a girl because of the long hair covering her face and the white dress she was wearing. As I drove past the bus stop, I peered at her through the passenger window wondering what in the world she was waiting in a bus stop at this hour and wearing a white dress!  People are going to think she’s a white lady…

WHITE LADY!

Very long hair covering her faceI White dress. Midnight. Shiiiit! I continued driving but I slowed down. I kept looking at the side view mirror.

Questions were going through my mind:

1. Was she still there?

Yes, she was  still in the bus stop, standing, not moving at all.

2. Was she a ghost, a white lady or just some inconsiderate and insensitive citizen who thought of wearing a white dress at midnight and brushing her long hair in front of her face just like Sadako while waiting for her ride in a dark, isolated place?

I have no idea.

3. What do I do now?

Keep on driving and look at the side view mirror and make sure she’s still at the bus stop and not the back passenger seat!

4. Do I call for help?

Help with what?!

Thirty meters away, I stopped the car. I weighed my options for a few seconds. I finally told myself that I am NOT going to spend the rest of my life asking myself whether I actually saw a ghost  or not, forever fearing that it might show up some place else. I looked at the side view mirror again. She was GONE!

I stepped on the gas and made a U-turn.

There she was, running to the other side of the road. RUNNING! Why would a ghost run?! The whole thing was a hoax and it was time to turn the tables around.  I got all excited. I flicked my headlights to high beam. You’re going down, baby!

By the time I got to the side in front of the bus stop, she’d run into the darkness. I wanted to jump out of the vehicle and give chase. I was pretty damn sure I was going to be able to catch up. I was really worked up now and I run pretty fast too.  I was going to catch a ghost!!!

But then I thought, the “ghost” might have friends with it somewhere nearby. They’re not going to like it that I just messed up their little act. I didn’t want to run into an ambush. The best thing was to call for reinforcements crazy enough to help me make a “sweep” at midnight. I called JM. No good, he was already home and too far away to do anything. I tried Bernard. He was much farther away with some other friends!

Too bad. It would have been fun. I drove home and congratulated myself all the way back for not running away the minute I saw a supernatural being.

Hopefully, we’ll meet again.

I went to the mall todayI It’s really fun to go to the malls these days. They’ve been playing Christmas carols for the past few weeks already! This is going to be a really fun 4th quarter!

For the past 2 years, I’ve been pretty fortunate to have been able to take the whole month of December OFF. Yup, practically a month’s worth of vacation! But I think this Christmas, it’s going to be busy. Oh well, we can make it busy and fun! We had fun Christmas parties last year in both businesses. I’m very sure, they’re going to outdo what we had last year so I’m really looking forward to it.

Oh I am in such a jolly mood! There’s nothing like listening to Christmas songs while walking in the mall.

And I have a brand new PC!!!!! Life is great!

I have not been actively trading stocks during the past few years. I guess I just got tired of "day trading" and monitoring fluctuations on a daily basis. So I just buy stocks every now and then for long term investment. Then I just forget about them and focus on other things.

Today, I decided to take a look on how my PLDT shares I bought last year were doing. It’s now P1615 per share! I bought it May last year at P995 per share. Cool! That’s 62%!

It’s a happy day!

*****

I also went over the life insurance policy that I bought  a few years ago. Been paying for it ever since. I think I did well in choosing the plan. Every time an insurance agent tries to sell me one of their products, I just show them my policy(they always ask to see it). They go through it and then they just ask me if I can just refer anyone. Hehe.

Anyway, I thought I’d review it since I was already going over my filing cabinet and I’ve already forgotten what was stated in the policy.

Benefits Payable, Accidental Death, Critical Condition, Hospital Income, Living Benefit, Beneficiaries, Conditions, Exclusions blah blah blah….

EXCLUSIONS! Yikes! Exclusion Number 6 states:

"insurrection, civil commotion, or hostile action of armed forces, whether or not the life insured was actually participating therein"

No benefits if I die for my country! How did I miss that? Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to be careful when I go to war and remember what General George Patton said,

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to let the other bastard die for his!"

Yes, Sir!

I haven’t been feeling well the past several weeks. I didn’t have a fever or anything. But as each day passed, I felt weaker and weaker. I had to stop jogging. I found myself panting just after going up the stairs in our house. I felt that I needed to get some sleep in the middle of the day. Something is very wrong. Maybe there’s an alien inside me?

I’m finding it hard for me to do my work. I can’t seem to think straight!    I’m sad =(  Work makes me happy. So now I have to opt to doing not-so-important things or just not working at all (write blogs instead) until I get myself fixed.

Hopefully, Vitamin C will fix me. I just found a big bottle of 500mg tablets. And they’re chewable! According to the label, there are multiple fruit flavors–Orange, Watermelon, Lemon-lime, and Pina Colada. Yum…

There’s no overdose for Vitamin C right? I’ve had four tablets already! =)

I would like to take this opportunity to address Mr. Allan’s recent article (please refer to blog entry entitled "Smear Campaign" below) about my absence in a battle and the reason behind the absence. In his article, he stated that he thinks "it’s a girl."

This is untrue.

I deliberately skipped war that day to give myself some "home time."  I was tired from the hustle and bustle of life, the city’s traffic, the rain, and the rising gas prices. So I said, "I will have peace and quiet today." Peace Mode.

I hereby state my unfaltering loyalty to the gods of war–that I shall sustain a millions wounds, die a thousand deaths, and massacre everything in my path before I search for eternal peace.

I apologize to the troops for the confusion I have caused and not dying with them in battle. There are more wars to be fought.

Be assured that I still stand by what I said at the beginning of this year–   "War before chicks."

Prepare to deploy…

I haven’t been able to check other people’s blogs lately. But since I am sick, weak, and bored, I thought I might as well see what’s happening with their lives .

And look at what I found! A blog entry about me! Hahaha! Since I haven’t been able to make an entry recently, I’ll just copy and paste it here.

*****

A time for peace